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I did a market this past weekend. I haven’t done one in years. In fact, I’d told myself I’d never do one again. Maybe it’s the years of soul crushing work in customer service oriented retail, or maybe it’s just my personality, but selling my work in such a social space started to feel really uncomfortable. It felt like stepping out of my skin and being a different version of myself. I decided it was okay to accept that sales mode is not in my skillset.

But every 6 months or so I do ask myself if I’m doing enough, and seeing everyone’s mood plummet into a strange state of “this is fine!” it feels important to put my art out there. In fact it feels like the only thing I can do. So when my friends and fellow artists invited me to participate in the Yardt Sale, I went with my gut and said yes.

I was dead to the world when it was over, but I’m glad I did it. I had the opportunity to talk about my work to lots of different people. I haven’t spoken aloud about this series to strangers at all, and it felt good to give voice to the thoughts that have been spinning around in my head. Some people really resonated with what I was saying, which led to really sweet conversations. Some people were like “ah” and meandered away, which was honestly also great because my social battery was FADING.

But anyway, that’s where I’m at. My ancient bones can still rattle up the energy to yap and sell art.

I’m really really excited about this new portrait. Like I am IN LOVE with it. I’ve been taking my time because I want to savor it. And I’ve been taking little breaks to draw all over music sheets. I may have achieved true balance.